a:what is the cheapest meat?
b:deer balls,they're under a buck!

next(hope this is appropriate)

there was a farmer and his wife laying on the bed,the farmer grabs her wife's breast
and says"Honey,if we could get milk out of this,we could have gotten rid of the
cow",then he grabs her vagina and says"Honey,if we could get eggs out of this,we
could have gotten rid of the chicken".The wife,turned over and smiled,grabs the
farmer's penis and says"Honey,if you could raise this up,then i would have gotten rid
of your brother"

some old ones i found
TEXAS HOSPITALITY
Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 091101. You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 180R."
Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on runway 180R. Allah be
praised!"
Dallas ATC: "Tower to Egypt Air 091102. You are cleared to land westbound on runway 180R."
Egypt Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on runway 180R. God is great."
Pause: Static...
Saudi Air: "DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!!!
Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi?"
Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY!!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!!"
Dallas ATC: "Y'all be careful now, ya hear?"
................................
THE MODERN MANAGER

A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. This new boss was
determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO
noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them
know that he meant business!

The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money do
you make a week?" A little surprised, the young fellow looked at him and replied, "I make
$300.00 a week. Why?"

The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET
OUT and don't come back."

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone
want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"

From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's
....................... One more
THE PRETEL HOLD

A Russian and a Newfoundland wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold medal.

Before the final match, the Newfoundland wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now,
don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because
of this 'pretzel' hold he has, whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he
does, you're finished!"

The Newfoundland wrestler nodded to acknowledge.

As the match started, the Newfoundland wrestler and the Russian cirlled each other several
times, looking for an opening.

All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Newfoundland wrestler and
wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.

A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his
hands, for he knew all was lost. He
couldn't watch the inevitable happen.

Suddenly, there was a scream, and then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his
eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with
a thud and the Newfoundlander collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the
match. The trainer was astounded.

When he finally got his wrestler alone he asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold?
No one has ever done it before!"

The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at
the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my
face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and
bit those babies just as hard as I could."

"So," the trainer exclaimed, "That's what finished him off?"

"Not really answered the wrestler. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your
own nuts."

no reply anymore,shocking

next,

Why did the playground retire,because it have lost its swing!!!!

no reply for long time,i guess

next,heres a joke i like

The Prank Call(read the joke fast[not too fast] in order to get it,or else youll lose the
funnies after they escape,and by the way,do try this joke prank call to someones
house when they have a crowd or party over there)

Person:"Hello?"
Prank Caller:"Yea,hello,I am looking for someone at your place,his last name
NoorMusbut,first name Maya."
Person:"Ok,hold on a sec"(he turns to the crowd at his place and shouts)"Hey,I got
a call here by someone.Is there anyone here named MAYA NOORMUSBUT!Hello?Any
one here named Maya Noormusbut)
Crowd:"AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHA!!!!"
Person:Who ever this is,i am going to shove this up your ***
Prank Caller:"(hangs up)LOL!!!"


second one

Person:"Ja?"(pronounced Ya[with short A sound],means yes in german)
Prank Caller:"OH!Ja,I em lookin for samvaughn lust nimd MyFrendsErgae,fust nimd
Olaf"
Person:"Oh,Vit a momunt.Ey!!Ist dere enyvon nimd Olaf Myfrendsergae!!!Alloooo?
Eny-von?(the person turns his head around )
Crowd:"hehehehehe lalalalalala,oooooooooh,hehehhe,lalalalala"
Person:"(he found out its a prank call)Schei**"(german swear)
Prank Caller:"(hangs up)LOL!!!!"

a boy sees an elderly-looking man reclining on his porch while on the way to school, and
decides to ask him how he lived so long.

"oh, i smoke 4 packs a day, have two beers for breakfast, four for lunch, four for dinner,
and another two for supper. i never exercise, as well." said the man.

"that's amazing!" said the boy. "how old are you?"

"20."

Here's one I hope you like it ^_^

Friend says : "Rome wasn't built in a day you know!"
Friend replies : "Yea they hired Italians"

Friend says : "Well... What do you mean?"
Friend replies :

"First day they forgot to bring the equipment.
Second day they brought half the equipment, then went on strike
Third day their equipment was stolen, and went home
Fourth day they found some of the equipment, then went on strike...etc..etc.."

^_^

I can't tell jokes so I'm gonna let someone else do it for me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rojJgcPBpSM